Past life regression (part 1): Sarah, England 1700s

While under hypnosis during my past life regression, I slowly walked down a long hallway of doors. At the other side of each door was a past life. There was one door that was calling out to me, it was a beautiful sky blue color with a gold doorknob. It stood out from all the others.

I opened the door and was hit with a rush of cold air that I could actually feel. It was snowing. I was a little girl, probably the age of 10, dressed in a beautiful knee-length red coat with a matching beret. I looked down at my feet – I was wearing stylish black shoes that were brand new. My feet were hurting because they were not yet broken in. My dad was holding my left hand, and my mom was holding my right. They were walking really fast and it was hard for my small legs to keep up. My mom said “Hurry up Sarah, we must get home. The snow is coming down fast.”

The streets were made of cobblestone. I was in a beautiful village in England, sometime in the 18th century.  The village contained several shops that were small and made of stone. People waved at us as we walked by – this was a village where everyone knew each other. Our home was located right near the village shops. When we arrived home, we were greeted by the warmth of our fireplace. My mom took off my coat and I quickly pulled off my shoes – my feet could finally relax. My hands were so cold, I rubbed them together to warm them up. Our home was small but likely a standard size back then. I got the sense that we were comfortable financially. My mom went into the kitchen to prepare our dinner. At that moment, as my mom looked for a pot in the kitchen, I was transported years into the future.

This time, instead of having the experience of living as Sarah, I was an observer, watching her. Sarah was sitting on a twin-sized bed. She was thin, with milky white skin and blazing red hair – it was a vibrant and rare color.  At the opposite corner of the room was another twin-sized bed where her roommate Annabelle was sitting. Annabelle had short black hair and a laid-back personality. Unlike Sarah, she didn’t take things too seriously.

They were both laughing, telling each other silly jokes. Annabelle got up from her bed and walked over to sit with Sarah. There was intense affection between them. They were best friends who were also in love. They were living in an English boarding school. The nuns who ran the school were very strict and they could hear the nuns walking around, doing their evening rounds.

Annabelle tells Sarah, in a hushed voice, that they should stop hiding. They should be honest, at least with their parents. Sarah refuses - her parents would never accept her being in love with a woman. And it would bring so much shame to them in the small village where they live. They would be putting themselves, and their families, in danger if people found out about them.

They held each other tightly and I could feel the warmth of that loving hug.

I was then transported a few years into the future, to Sarah’s wedding day. She was getting married to a man who lived in her village. Her parents knew his parents and they pushed for this marriage to happen. After boarding school, Sarah stopped speaking to Annabelle. She knew they would never have a future together and she wanted to make her parents happy. I could feel the immense sadness that Sarah felt at that moment. I also felt her shame for being attracted to women in a society that would never accept her. Tears were coming down my face as I was overwhelmed with Sarah’s emotions.

I was transported into the future for the final time. Sarah was pacing back and forth in the kitchen of the home where she had lived as a child. By then, her parents had died and Sarah and her husband moved into that home. They had been living it in for many years.

Shortly after she married him, the abuse started. He was an alcoholic and took all of his anger and self-loathing out on her. She often had bruises on her body that she would try to hide. I felt Sarah’s pain – she was trapped in a life that she despised. She couldn’t take it anymore. More tears streamed down my face as I realized that Sarah was going to end her life. She sat down at the kitchen table and swallowed over a dozen pills, chasing it down with her husband’s cheap vodka. I could feel what Sarah felt in that moment. It was a powerful mix of emotions - sadness, anger, regret - but the strongest emotion that came through was shame for continuing to have feelings for Annabelle. She saw Annabelle’s beautiful face as she died.

Because of the layout of the house, the kitchen table was in direct line of sight from the front door. She wanted to make sure that she would be the first thing that her husband sees when he gets home from work. Sarah was in her 30s when she died.

After the images stopped, it took me a few minutes to process Sarah’s intense emotions. I wanted to hug her and tell her that she didn’t have anything to feel ashamed about. She was beautiful and perfect just the way she was. I held Sarah in my heart and sent her loving, white light energy.

A few moments later, I was back in the hallway where another door was calling out to me - it was white with a gold doorknob. I turned the knob and opened the door. The air was thick with heat and humidity. I was in a tropical place in the Caribbean.

Continued in next post.